Rosie's four birth stories
I was 25, recently married, about to move onto my new husbands family farm when I realised I was pregnant. So many emotions running through my mind. Of course, I was ecstatic-I was growing a tiny human, however, that wasn't the only emotion that I was feeling. I had a completely overwhelming feeling of responsibility. Responsibility to myself, my baby, my husband, our new business, a new home, a new job at a new hospital....the list goes on.
Unfortunately for us, Baby Audrey entered the world, stillborn, at 23 weeks gestation. This was simply the hardest thing we had ever done in our lives.
The next few months were quite a blur of tears, heartache, anger, resentment & doubt.
Then I was pregnant again. This time I was anxious beyond comprehension. I had regular scans to check my baby. Tried to be 'okay', but life was stressful.
I went back to midwifery for a few short months while I was pregnant-I was fearful of the birthing suites.
I decided to go to a Calmbirth class. Dragging my husband who thought it was just for 'hippies' we went to calmbirth. What we gained was invaluable to us. We not only gained a weekend full of knowledge, a safe zone to talk, & tools to help both of us get through the birth of our baby, we also gained an enormous amount of confidence that birth is normal. Birth is ok. Birth is not to be feared. Birth can be good. We can enjoy the birth. All of these things we had lost sight of following the traumatic birth of Audrey.
We came away from that weekend full of love for each other, connected to our baby, & excited, although still slightly apprehensive, for the birth of our second baby.
Our baby, Freddie decided his own journey into this world. Born at 35 weeks via an emergency caesarean, where both my husband and I felt totally empowered, supported, & informed to allow us both to enjoy his birth. It didn't seem to matter the journey he took- we were over the moon as we knew with our information gained from calmbirth that this was the right birth for us at this time. Calmbirth allowed us to ask questions, ask for alternatives, & gain a real sense of understanding of our situation from the health professionals.
It was after completing calmbirth & this birth, that I decided to embark on my own calmbirth journey. I wanted every pregnant couple to do this course.
Two & a half years later & I was back preparing hard for a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean). Meditations, visulisations, optimising fetal positioning, acupuncture, accupressure, exercising you name it I was doing everything. Then I got my GDM (gestational diabetes) results. I was positive. I had GDM.
Now the calmbirth hard work really started. I prepared my self the best way physically, mentally & educationally that I could. I had frequent discussions about my care with my health care provider. Together we monitored me, my baby & my health. We were informed. We weighed up risks of all interventions that are mainstream when diagnosed with GDM.
At 41 weeks I went into spontaneous labour. I laboured for 12 hours. In the end my baby decided to enter the world via a little helping hand with some forceps & epidural. As Bella entered the world, it felt like the whole world had stopped. As she stared up at me, calmly, peacefully & engagingly, I just looked back at her in awe. My husband close by holding onto us both. All of us embraced in a circle of love.
Then came Maggie just over 3 years after Bella. Maggie is now 8 months old, & her story is short but sweet. Again I was diagnosed with GDM, but this time around I was even more informed & less fearful of the diagnosis. I again went into spontaneous labour the day that we decided upon doing an induction. We believed at 41 weeks, this was the safest option now due to my GDM. My dr broke my waters at 9am, and although I had been niggling away overnight, I wasn’t in ‘labour’. It was at 9.45am that I remember thinking ok, I need a little help to get through these contractions now... the calmbirth breathing techniques, visualisations & mantras all helped me hugely to allow my body to remain relaxed and open. By 10.10am our little baby girl was earthside. No time for Drs to make it back, no time for much really except my body & baby working harmoniously together to bring Maggie earthside. My husband also had the privilege of catching Maggie as she entered the world. This was an amazing experience for us all.