Welcome Elsie Lou- a beautiful forceps birth

To prepare for labour/ birth we had attended a calmbirth class with Rosie. I had already given Chris lots of info on the actual labour and birth process and what to expect, but it was so good having some practical skills for both of us to use throughout the labour and birth. I had a S&S on the Tuesday as I wanted to do anything I could to avoid induction! I thought I would be long and closed and really posterior, but I was 1cm/1cm and very anterior which I was shocked about! I had some bloody loss the rest of the day but no other labour signs or tightenings which I wasn’t surprised about. 

I was laying in bed around 830am on Thursday 4th June watching tv when I felt really really wet all of a sudden. I thought it must’ve been just extra discharge so ignored it for a bit, but then a few mins later it felt wet again so I jumped up quickly to go to the toilet and felt a gush of fluid. Of course I had no undies on, only pj pants haha but luckily they caught it all and it didn’t go through the bed or on the carpets. 

I sat on the toilet for awhile cos I wasn’t convinced it was my waters breaking, thought surely it’s just wee, I’m only 38+3 and I was expecting to be pregnant at 40+! It just kept on gushing out, and definitely didn’t smell like wee and it was clear. Yep definitely my waters haha. I popped a pad on then sat back on the bed to call Chris. He knew straight away something must be happening when I called. He said he would finish up some work and then come home. I said do not rush- I’m going to have a shower and wash my hair etc then call up labour ward and I guess we will head up for a ctg. The water kept on gushing out- so much of it! It was such a surreal feeling knowing we would be meeting our little human some time in the next 24-48 hours! I loved pregnancy so so much and wasn’t ready at all for it to be over! But was also excited to see who this little person was. 

We went up for a ctg about 1030, trace was perfect. The midwife did the trace, and the Dr popped in to make a plan. She was pretty convinced it was my waters so didn’t do a spec thankfully. She said come back tonight at midnight to start antis if no labour then augment the next day if nothing was happening yet. 

When we got home I was chatting to a friend and collegue about it all and wasn’t super keen on that plan after I thought about it for awhile, and she was up at work, so her and the Dr made a new plan to come back the next day for antis and augment possibly if I wasn’t doing anything rather than coming up that night. We were much happier with that plan and just monitored my temp the rest of the day. 

We had to do whatever we could to get me into labour to avoid augment so we walked the lake- of course we saw every bloody person we knew haha. I had to stop halfway around to change my pad cos the liquid just kept coming- there was so much more than I expected!! It was a long walk trying to make sure I didn’t leak fluid everywhere! 

Chris went back to work for a few hours in the arvo seeing as nothing was happening and I cleaned and vacuumed the house, used the breast pump, bounced on the ball, watched our wedding video- whatever I could to try and get labour to start!! By 6pm I was getting grumpy cos I didnt think anything was going to happen that night and knew augmentation was booked for the morning. Chris got home and we cuddled on the couch for a bit, then got up to make some dinner. Around 730 I started having some niggles, that quickly got uncomfortable and regular, so I decided to start timing them. From the start they were 2-4 minutely already! I only had a few before I had to start focussing and breathing through them. It took awhile to eat tea as I had to keep stopping and concentrating. As they were ramping up we thought we probably should get the car all sorted- we put the window shade and mirror in the car, along with the capsule, while we played around with Chris’s new boom box he was building, although I wasn’t really concentrating on it that much haha. They slowly got worse over the next little while- I wanted Chris to hop in bed and try and sleep coz I thought we would be in for a long night. I was on the ball for awhile and then on the bed, I found leaning forward onto cushions most comfy, while listening to calmbirth meditations to keep myself nice and relaxed. Chris was finishing off some work on his computer so I decided to go into the lounge so he could pop into bed when he finished, I sat on my knees leaning over the ball out here as contractions started to get a bit worse. My beautiful friend popped around after work at 945pm to drop us some coffees and give some support which was so lovely having her there. She was a typical midwife and just sat and observed for awhile, chatting between contractions and giving some reassuring words. I went to the toilet and had a big show, I also lost my plug in the toilet so all good signs so far! From there things really ramped up. I was no longer able to talk as much through the contractions, but was totally normal in between, and really had to breathe and focus. By this stage I was kneeling next to the couch leaning onto it. I had jimmy(dog) sitting next to me watching, Chris rubbing my back, warming the heat pack and giving hip squeezes and using acupressure that we had learnt in our calmbirth classes and our friend supporting all of us. We were using our calmbirth breathing which was helping a lot. We had some beautiful music on with the salt lamp, it was a beautiful calm environment. We did this for about another hour, then I decided to give the tens machine a try, really just because why the hell not?! I was feeling it all in my belly but thought it may be a distraction, and I thought we still would have quite a bit of time left so it would be a good time to start using it. I kept trying to get Chris to go to bed and have some rest, but I later found out my friend was telling him to start getting ready to head to the hospital as she could see things were ramping up quickly. I had one contraction where it felt too much and I said I don’t know how long I can do this for, but quickly got my shit together, and refocused, and apparently kept saying yes I can do this, I can do this I can do this! 

We stayed here for a little bit longer, then by 1130 my friend was like righto time to get to the hospital. Chris started to pack the car, and our friend rang the ward for me to say I was coming and to fill up the bath!

Once Chris had packed the car we went to leave, I was fluffing about getting my drink bottle and heat pack etc and then had a big contraction in the kitchen that felt different. It was a little bit more in my back and more pressure in my bum than I had previously had. Our friend was leaving at the time but heard the difference in Me for that contraction so waited at the door until she knew we were almost in the car as she knew it was progressing very quick. I had one more in the kitchen before I could get myself into the car which was a Similar one. We had only got around the corner when I had the next one which was the worst I had had up until then. I threw off my seatbelt and had to get off the car seat, poor Chris slowed down until it was over but I was like just keep going haha. I spent the whole car ride with my eyes closed and not thinking about anything. It felt like the quickest car ride ever and all of a sudden we were parked right out the front. I had another contraction as we were getting our bags out. We had all of our stuff and walked as fast as I could manage to the door, which was of course locked being after hours and on lockdown because of covid. We could see the person sitting inside and we know he saw us,  but did not get up or let us in, thank god another patient was slowly leaving the hospital for a smoke at the time so he was able to open the door for us. After having a temp check and getting our visitor stickers we walked very very quickly to the elevators haha. I had another contraction in the corridor that we had to stop for on the way. Once we got up to the ward all the girls were sitting at the desk waiting for us. Chris and I were happy and smiling when we walked in so I don’t think they realised how far along I was, until I had a contraction just after I said hi, then  they all jumped up to get stuff ready. They took Chris down to put our bags in the room while I went into the bathroom and stripped off. I had a huge contraction that I felt all in my back, and ripped off the tens machine as it just felt like it was burning my back. I sat on the toilet and Chris came back in, and with that next contraction started involuntarily pushing. I jumped in the bath and our midwife came into the room and we just chatted about it all. I had a few more and was pushing with them, then we decided the midwife should do a VE, which confirmed I was fully and low head. Each contraction made the back pain get worse and worse, and we all knew that babe was most likely OP. I tried all different positions but couldn’t push past that awful back pain. The midwife did another VE to try and check position, which was definitely OP. After a shitload of position changes I still couldn’t push past that pain enough, I tried having my finger on bubs head to feel if the head was coming down, which it did sometimes but not much. We decided to try the sterile water injections to get that back pain away so I could push better. They were awful! I warned Chris I would probably scream but I didn’t realise just how painful they would be! Holy moly they are awful. I think they helped the back pain with one contraction and that was it which i was devastated about! All that extra pain for no relief. We tried lots of hip squeezes and legs up legs down etc etc, Ali tried to lift my coccyx up to see if that would help move the head but nothing would work. I was starting to feel more defeated by this  stage and just kept saying to Chris and our midwife I can’t do this, the back pain won’t let me push. I had to really keep going back to my calmbirth breathing  so I could stay focussed and in control  We decided to go down to the room and get out of the bath for a really good VE and hoping the walk and big position changes would help move the baby. The girls were trying so so hard to avoid having to call the drs in, and were doing anything they could think of to help turn bubs but we all knew I think that it wasn’t going to work. We tried a few big squats while pulling on my coccyx and a few pushes on the bed but no luck, and I was now getting distressed so we decided it was time to call the Dr in. By this stage I was really starting to lose it. I got in the shower while they called the Dr, which is when I had totally lost control. I was crying to Chris that I needed the Dr, this baby wasn’t coming and I couldn’t do it any more. I was so defeated. It felt like I was in there for only few mins before the Dr came but Chris said it was almost half an hour. this is where he really struggled as he found it hard seeing me so distressed. The Dr came and I went back for the bed for an assessment. She said baby was OP with a very deflexed head. Shit. She knew how bad I wanted a vaginal birth but said Jess I really don’t think we will get this babe out vaginally so a c/s was what she really recommended. I was both absolutely devastated and relieved when she said this. I just knew I couldn’t do it by myself but I also didn’t want a c/s. Chris said I cried at this stage, which I can’t remember. The next half hour was a blur. I was given terbutaline to stop the contractions and I started using the gas- loved it! I felt like I was off my head! The contractions didn’t settle much at all, but I was able to cope a bit more with the gas and knowing it was almost over. Chris got changed and I got a cannula, gown, teds etc. The Dr put on a FSE too. I was on the bed almost ready to head down, we were just waiting for theatre to be ready, and I heard bub have a decel with the contraction so I rolled side to side which resolved it. With the next contraction I had a huge involuntary push which I hadn’t had in quite awhile. It felt different. So deep and I couldn’t stop it. Thank god for the beautiful midwives who heard the same thing and tried to keep out the theatre tech so I could do a few more pushes, as we all knew something had changed. I tried so hard to push with the next few but we had to head down to theatre. The contractions without the gas on the way down were awful again, as they were still somewhat in my back, definitely more bearable than earlier though. It was so weird being on the other side and laying in the bed talking to the theatre staff who I knew from work, but also reassuring as I knew them all and they were a great team. We sat in the anaesthetic bay for a bit while they got ready, and then I was wheeled in to theatre for a spinal. I used the gas again in theatre to help get through those few while I had to sit still. The spinal was quick to be administered, and the weirdest feeling ever when it was starting to work! Like the worst pins and needles ever, and I felt like I was moving my legs but they weren’t really moving. Strange!! Once it was all working properly(it was quite a high block which felt awful) the Dr did another VE while inserting the IDC just to check again- babe had turned OA!!! Next thing I knew my legs were in stirrups and the Dr was putting on the forceps, such a bizarre moment! Once the synt and contractions started it was pushing time! Pushing with a spinal is so bloody hard, I couldn’t feel my tummy muscles at all, and definitely not the right muscles to push with, but 2 contractions later i could see in the light above a head starting to birth! I just sobbed as soon as I saw it, was such a surreal feeling. Once the head and body started to birth I was able to reach down and pull up the babe onto me. Just the most amazing moment ever. The cord was short and we did delayed cord clamping so I couldn’t bring babe very high so I couldn’t look at whether it was a boy or girl. I had a feel and my first thought was “no testicles, must be in the wrong spot” because we were so sure it was a boy. Once the cord was cut we were able to see we had a beautiful baby girl! We were shocked but so very stoked! I think my first words to her were actually where are your testicles haha! 

She went onto my chest and Chris and I just admired our beautiful daughter, amazing. I got so extremely overwhelmingly tired when she was there, it was so hard to keep my eyes open. The poor little love had so many bruises on her face and had a big mark from the FSE on her forehead in her hairline- she was definitely trying to come out the wrong way! The paed was so good and didn’t take her off my chest to assess- she just observed her while on me. Once they had repaired to epis/tears, babe was taken off me and I was moved to another bed to go to recovery. Chris was able to trim the cord there while I was connected to monitoring. She was then back on my chest which was so lovely. She didn’t feed in recovery but I had so much colostrum in  the freezer so I wasn’t too worried yet. We just enjoyed the skin to skin and had the best icy poles of our lives! Haha. We got taken back upstairs after a bit where She then fed, had needles and weight done, and then Chris did some skin to skin and we just lay In Bed admiring our daughter, and then we FaceTimed our parents to tell them. Such an amazing experience!